Summer and the start of being a second year MPhil

It's hard to believe that I haven't blogged in four full months.  They have been full of all sorts of surprises and adventures, both good and bad.

Once I was stateside, the summer kicked off with a trip to Napa, CA with Andie to tour wineries.  I got into the Cali a night early and got to visit with Perry, a friend from Penn, which was awesome. Life has scattered us all over the country, but it's nice to see people and feel like time and distance haven't changed anything at all.  After a wonderful dinner, Perry dropped me off at my super sketch hotel and the next morning I met Andie back at the airport, we picked up our super snazzy rental car, and away we went.

Super snazzy rental car

We drove to Napa and on our way into town, we stopped for lunch at Mustard's Grill which was amazing- the food was phenomenal.  From there, we headed to our tasting reservation at Frog's Leap Vineyard.  The wine there was good, but the atmosphere was perfect.  They do all organic and low water usage farming and also have bees, chickens, pygmy goats, and probably other things, too.  The tasting was held on the back porch of a farmhouse and the whole place was just beautiful.

Andie and me at Frog's Lease

View at Frog's Leap

View from the porch at Frog's Leap

The barn at Frog's Leap

More Frog's Leap

Cute weathervane at Frog's Leap

Fattest pygmy goat ever.

Frog's Leap vineyard

Mr. Rooster at Frog's Leap

From there, we went to check in at our bed and breakfast, the Candlelight Bed and Breakfast.  The place was amazing- seriously just gorgeous, with the friendliest, most outgoing host, and although I didn't know it at the time, the breakfast every morning was multiple courses and just incredible.  I can't say enough good things about this place.  After checking in and getting settled, we headed to dinner at Celadon, which was tasty.  

The next morning we headed to Napa Valley Bike Tours to pick up our rented bikes to cycle from wine tasting to wine tasting.  Andie hadn't ridden a bike in YEARS, but I cycle frequently in Oxford, so after a short gear changing and hand signaling lesson, we biked the 3.2 miles to Paraduxx.  It was pretty, but had a much more modern vibe than Frog's Leap and didn't feel as warm/family-ish/friendly.  The wine was good, though most of it was heavier reds which aren't really my thing, but Andie loved it.  That said, the views were beautiful and I really enjoyed the morning. 

Andie and me at Paraduxx

Paraduxx

View from Paraduxx

From there we biked another 3.5 or so miles to Peju.  The bike ride involved some roads without very good bike lanes, and then we had to get on the highway.  It thankfully had wide, nice bike lanes, but the tractor trailers going by were still a bit intimidating to me (I'm used to the double decker buses in England but they generally go slower) and I think they terrified Andie.  Still, we made it safely and in one piece.  The tasting experience at Peju was much more rushed than the others- they do tastings in groups at set times and just pour one wine at a time and you stand at their bar, down it, and they pour you the next one.  I didn't care for the experience nearly as much as getting to sit with cheese and crackers and relax with scenery, BUT they had a red and white blended wine that was delicious and it is actually the only bottle of anything that I bought in Cali, so that was a plus.  Also, Peju is really gorgeous, with huge flowers everything and really pretty buildings and flowers.

Bike ride to Peju

Andie at Peju

 Peju

Peju

From there we bike to La Luna, which is actually a little grocery store with a deli counter/sandwich place inside for lunch.  The food was so so good and the portions were enormous.  After lunch we debated doing another nearby winery, but we wanted to have time to get to Mumm, which was not biking distance, and also not have to drive after drinking more, so we decided just to cycle back and turn the bikes in... besides, I think Andie had had more than enough biking.  Once we returned the bikes we headed to Mumm, which is actually a champagne/sparkling wine place.  Since I love champagne, I thought this one was great, and although it was crowded, the views from their patio were worth it.

My 3 champagnes for the tasting

The view from the Mumm patio

After Mumm we did some relaxing and then had dinner at Morimotos- which was one of my favorite restaurants in Philly so I was so happy to get to try his place in Napa- just as amazing.  The next day, we headed to an amazing spa.  I got a massage and a body scrub and I think Andie got a massage and a facial.  It's the first time I'd ever been to a spa or gotten a massage and it was super relaxing.  After our treatments we hung out by the pool, ordered food from the restaurant next to the spa to eat by the pool, and just enjoyed the sunshine, though poor Andie got very burnt.  That evening, I flew home (well, I tried, I got stuck in Salt Lake City and I spent the night there but that's besides the point) and Andie flew to a wedding.  

The rest of the summer was filled with lots of vet appointments for Lucy- who after months of diagnostics, we discovers had blown the cruciate ligament in her stifle (similar to the human ACL), lots of running (getting ready for the 1/2 marathon in January), lots of yoga (so relaxing), some working, both at Erik's and at horse shows and house sitting, and even leasing an nearly perfect mare, Vale.  I also got to hang out with Annie and Daisy, see some old friends, and drive the electric car (with Lucy, as pictured), spend lots of time reading and writing for my dissertation (which later fell apart but more on that later).  

Daisy- greeting me when I first arrived home for the summer

Lucy- hanging out in the electric car

Annie got a good grooming- hard to believe she's around 30 years old!

Lucy loves her back porch time every evening

One of my three favorite mares

Me and Marge (and mountain dew slushies)

So glad I got to call her mine for the summer

With all the time I spent around animals this summer, it only reinforced what I wrote in my last post before I stopped writing for the summer.  I said, "That said, I've missed animals terribly over the past 2 years and I can't wait to be in a place where I can ride, or even groom regularly, and maybe have a dog to come home to."  I really, really miss animals.  I miss my time at the vet school, I miss riding horses, I miss having pets.  I loved it all when that was my life (even graveyard shifts at the vet school), and I want to get back to it, but I also don't regret the path I've been taking to one day get back to animals.  After all, I got to attend 2 great universities for undergrad, work in finance, live in 2 foreign countries, work with kids, and even attend Oxford, which is something I never even fathomed I could do when growing up in small town Georgia.  And I've learned and grown so much- particularly how to approach and think about human/animal relations, lay knowledge, etc. 

I guess this summer just made me realize a few things: 

1. It's hard to admit this but I am pretty sure I was wrong about wanting to pursue academia, even if I was super gung-ho about it 4 month ago. 
2. I want to work with animals (not so different from 4 months ago). 
3. I think I was on to something freshman and sophomore year of college when I thought I'd be going to vet school. 
4. I need to work and take some additional pre-reqs before vet school can be a reality. 
5. I love living all over the world, but the south will always be home.  I don't have to return now, or even in the next few years, but someday the south will once again be home.  As Wendell Berry wrote in A Native Hill: "Kentucky was my fate-- not an altogether pleasant fate, though it had much that was pleasing in it, but one that I could not leave behind simply by going to another place, and that therefore felt more and more obligated to meet directly and understand.  Perhaps even more important, I still had a deep love for the place I have been born in, and liked the idea of going back to be part of it again.  And that, too, I felt obligated to try to understand.  Why should I love one place so much more than any other?  What could be the meaning or use of such love? ... I had made a significant change in my relation to the place: before, it had been mine by coincidence or accident; now it was mine by choice."
6. Even if I am wrong about vet school, as I've been wrong about my life path many, many times before (after all, I have "finally figured out that making a plan for [my] whole life doesn't get [me] out of all the stuff that comes along whenever it feels like it"), I have learned so many interesting, useful things.  I've met so many life long friends and seen a bit more of this great world we live it.  I am 26 and I still feel like the possibilities are endless... my main goal is to build an interesting and eclectic life and so far, I think I'm on track to do that (or many I just want to feel better about being 26 and still having no set career path?)  I'd say a bit of both.  

Once September rolled around, it was time to head back across the pond to the Motherland.  I was the first person of my new housemates to arrive, and honestly, getting settled was a bit of a nightmare. Our letting agency has been about as unhelpful as you can imagine and when I arrived, the house was filthy and far from move in ready.  I arranged a cleaning service and set up our utilities and internet (which took a month for them to connect... imagine comcast customer service and then multiply the terribleness by 10) and generally tried to get things in order.  From lots of giant house spiders (google it), to a broken lawn mower (which has yet to be fixed/replaced.... our house looks abandoned), to a supposedly "broken" sliding glass door (the lock is broken)- which is turns out was blocked so no one could open it.... from the OUTSIDE (so ANYONE could open it since the lock was broken), to a broken washer, to a broken vacuum... the list goes on and on and on.  

This is NOT one of the giant house spiders... this just one of the hundreds of big but regular (and still pretty big) spiders invading our house.

To top things off, while trying to get settled I managed to lose my drivers license, which someone nicely found and since they were leaving town the next day, they turned into the local police and facebooked messaged me to let me know that they had done so.  Only, when I went to pick it up... the police told me that they do not return any identification that is turned in since it could be "compromised," so my license is gone forever.  I was also worried about things going on back home, including my Grandma's decline in health and Lucy's healing process after her TPLO (surgery to fix her leg).  

Still, being back in Oxford was nice.  I love our house (despite its plethora of problems) and I have a huge room that gets gorgeous light in the afternoons.  And I especially love the people I live with (both the permanent members and those rotating in and out).  One night we had a "family" dinner with everyone from our house cooking a dish that represents their culture (lebanese soup from katherine, a Pakistani dish from Saher, I made shrimp and grits, etc). 

The new room

Yum- family dinner

There was Modern Family with Louis and late night chats with Katherine, and lots of afternoon visits to the Victoria Arms to drink lemonade or cider by the Cherwell.  We also cooked stuffed grape leaves/dolmas one night, along with dates stuffed with goat cheese and drizzled with honey and balsamic vinegar (and topped with toasted walnuts.) Katherine even bought us aprons for all of our cooking adventures.  

Making dolmas

Making dolmas

Trying to roll the dolmas

Cheese stuffed dates

New aprons!

AND- because we cook so much and all love local and organic produce, our entire house pitches in every week and buys a family size veg box from a CSA type of place... it's pretty awesome and I've made some pretty delicious meals from the produce.  

Roasted veg from the veg box

Salad with roasted veg's (salad and all the veggies from veg box) AND a side of homemade hummus

Brittany even cut my hair for me and it's so much better- so much dead weight gone and it's nice that it now doesn't take quite so long to wash and dry my hair!

New hair cut

Plus, we live in what I am 100% sure is the prettiest village in Oxfordshire and the view out my window is a meadow.  Does it get any better?  

Meadow near the house

Walking path into town

Best section of the bike path between our house and town

Scenes from a walk near the house

Cool, fringed flowers

So pretty

Sometimes on my bike ride into town I have to stop and get cows off the path.  Love it.

Another high was getting my grades back from exams... it was such a stressful experience and although I felt reasonably good about them at the time... by the time they arrived i had convinced myself I'd failed every subject.  Instead, I did reasonably well on Policy and Governance, good on theory and analysis, and I earned my first distinction on the research design and methods exam- which is a bit surprising since those were my least favorite classes BUT I suppose does make some sense because I got to write some pretty interesting answers on issues like ethics and positionally, if social science can ever capture truth or only representations of truth, and the need for visual methods. When I started Oxford, I wanted to do well, but I also wanted to be realistic... everyone on my course is used to being at the top... everyone is smart.  Everyone is a good write.  Everyone makes good arguments.  I never had any delusions that I would leave Oxford with a distinction on anything... and now I have one (even if only on one exam) and my other grades are high enough that with a solid dissertation I could actually end up with an overall distinction.  

My friends also went above and beyond to make sure I had a great birthday.  Brittany cooked brunch for my party, and people came and went (with amazingly thoughtful gifts) eating, drinking, and helping clear our garden plot... which was overgrown with huge amounts of thorny things, including blackberries, and also full of biting ants (that hurt way worse than fireants) and stinging nettle (which I managed to get all over my lower back... ouch).  It was so good to see everyone and to have so many friends willing to come pitch in and hang out (including Andreas and Anna who came from London!)

Our allotment plot- all cleared!

Still, I couldn't help but feel that I was not where I needed to be.  I was already worried about things back home and feeling a bit stressed and overwhelmed... and then my research fell apart.  I'd spent the summer building a wonderful research contact (who was/is very generous with her time and has been a huge help) but then working directly with her fell apart due to some unexpected circumstances.  I could have handled that, but then, when I met with my advisor about where to go from here, we had very, very different ideas about what direction my project should take.  To be clear, my advisor is wonderful- he gives me way more time than a lot of other professors might, and he's really helped guide this project... but when it needed to change, we just did not see eye to eye on what a new direction could be.  After a few frustrating emails and a meeting that took lots of self control not to cry during, I decided that I needed a fresh start.  I needed to go home and get a new license, ride Vale, check on Lucy, spend time with family, re-evaluate my project, etc. And so I did. 

For the past three weeks I've been home and while Thomas Wolfe might have said "you can't go home again" that is only metaphorical.  "Home-- the place, the countryside-- was still there, still pretty much as I left it, and there is no reason I could not go back to if I wanted to."  And I did want to.  I was productive while I was home.  I replaced my license, wrote nearly 20 pages on my new dissertation topic (which, I actually decided on AND got my advisor on board with... the working title is: What Makes an Animal Edible?  The Octopus: A case study"), I rode Vale a few times, cleaned our house, helped throw Mom a party, spent lots of time with Lucy, got horse blankets washed for the winter, worked a bit, applied for jobs (for after Oxford!), voted in midterm elections, etc etc. 

Madison is so pretty

Enjoying the evening in the yard- look at that raspberry patch!

Adorable lizard friend

Says it all

Lucy was so happy to see me!

Caning with Clayton- someday I will learn how

I really, really enjoyed the weather

When I left Monday, I felt much more ready to go.  Yesterday, I arrived back in Oxford and I've hit the ground running.  Today I had my first class of this year- a lecture and discussion on reconciliation ecology.  I really like the professor and the themes, so it should be a great class.  From there, I hit the library- and felt very Oxford-ish: 

Gray, but pretty views from my window seat at the library

After that, I ran errands (grocery store, post office, lunch, and stationary store) and then came home, relaxed for a bit, took a run, and then did some reading.  Louis and I made dinner tonight, watched an episode of modern family, and since then, I've been reading and blogging. 

I promise now that I am actually back, I'll be better about updating.  I have a good bit planned over the next two weeks/weekends so I'll stay on top of it!