As always, things have been busy since arriving back in England. Thankfully, the first week back was actually relatively quiet. I got in on a Tuesday, met our newest (temporary) roommate, a really nice girl named Rosemary (who was only here 3 weeks and so has already moved out), and had time to get settled. That Friday I met with my supervisor, Jamie, and I felt like the meeting went surprisingly well, which was nice.
The next day I got up and headed into London. I met up with Andreas, and we headed back to his new flat, which he shares with Rob, and another girl, Gala. Andreas, Rob and I then headed off to see the boat race, and cheer Oxford, and more specifically Tom, on. It was an exciting Boat Race day... not just because of the races, but because for the first time in history, the women's boat race was held on the same day, over the same course, as the men's. It was a pretty big deal, and really exciting to see a step forward for both women's sports and women. At some point before the race, Rob, Andreas and I met up with Daniel, and we all watched the main race together. The women, men's reserve, and men's boats all won, and it felt pretty great to be an Oxford supporter.
The next morning, Andreas decided that he would come back to Oxford with me to see Katherine. She'd been traveling since I had returned to Oxford and so it was my first chance to see her. We grabbed food at Taylor's and ice cream at G&Ds, and then headed back to Katherine's to drink tea and all talk. It was so good to be back around Katherine and Andreas and catch up on life with them. After a full afternoon and evening of tea and talking, Andreas headed back to London and I headed home.
The following day, my great-uncle, Uncle Curtis, passed away. It was a great loss, both for our family, and for the world. I've long considered Uncle Curtis (and Aunt Carol) role models and mentors. They were in Wilmington, DE while I was at UPenn, and made a point to make sure that I didn't just feel like I had "relatives" nearby, but that I knew I had family there. We celebrated birthdays, ate dinners, took trips to the coast, and spent countless hours talking. Uncle Curtis was a huge advocate for women, African Americans (during the Civil Rights Movement and beyond), the disabled, and other minorities. His work included the Bethesda-Savannah Children's Center, a PhD in Social WOrk, the Director of Family Service of Chester County, the founding director of the board of Kendal-Crosslands Retirement Communities, a board member of the Bryn Mawr College School of Social Work and Social Research, a board member of Friends Association for the Care and Protection of Children, and a program developer for the Philadelphia Foundation.
Those credentials, however impressive, are not what I remember. I remember and admire that he and Aunt Carol sent me magazine subscriptions as a child to scientific and cultural kids magazines. I remember getting post cards written in various languages from around the world. I remember that they came out to watch me ride horses in GA once, and even entrusted (a very young) Zoe (their granddaughter) on a horse with me. Mostly, I remember that Uncle Curtis was everything I would like to strive to be during my life: curious, passionate, compassionate, and as his obituary says "[treating] others with interest, dignity, and equality; he strongly believed in service to the community".
Aunt Carol, Zoe and Uncle Curtis, during one of my visits
After the loss on Monday, my next few days were filled with an odd mixture of grieving, catching up with more friends, and time outside, soaking in the gorgeous weather and enjoying some reflection time (I spent an entire afternoon at the botanical gardens, and then the next afternoon wandering the cute shops in Summertown with Merry). At some point in there, I also got a haircut. Sometime towards the end of that week, we also had a friend of a friend staying with us, and when we asked what he did for a living, he very openly said that he writes erotic e-books. If nothing else, he made for a very interesting house guest for a few days...
Friday morning, I went out to Tom's house to finally see him post boat race and to hang out with his pet chickens. We talked about where we are both off to next, GA for me, and OK for Tom, to the US training center for the 2016 Olympics, which is just incredible. It was nice to catch up. Afterwards, I cycled home and met Fran, one of the NSEPers from last year who just got a job in Oxford and needs a place to live. She liked the house and so she is our newest temporary roommate (she has a permanent/long term place lined up from June onwards).
The next day I went to ballet lessons with Katherine and Fran and really enjoyed myself. It was nice to spend a morning enjoying dancing and music, even if I have little to no rhythm, form, or natural ability. Sunday, I had one of the worst gallbladder flare-ups that I have had in years. I spent the evening and night really ill, and so Monday I was essentially useless. The next day and really the next week, I had to buckle down on work. I had a draft of section of my dissertation due in on Friday and I had tons of reading and writing to get through, so it was a quiet, but surprisingly productive week. Wednesday night Todd and I were making dinner to try to have ready for Brittany when she got back from work and I was blending soup as I added roasted swede with an emulsion blender. I didnt stir it well and some of the trapped air bubbles under the surface got super heated and exploded, thankfully, only my hand got hit with the soup, but for those who have never had a second degree burn, I got recommend it. It is incredibly painful and really gross.
The night it happened
The blister the next day. Ouch.
I met my deadline on Friday evening and then Saturday I wanted to go to ballet again but I was still feeling weak and tired and experiencing lots of issues from my gallbladder. I had just decided to go anyway and tried to get out the door, but was about 15 minutes late... and the teacher can be a bit scary, so I went to run errands instead. I bought tape, markers, and glue, and went to print some giant pictures to make signs for Brittany to cheer her on in the London Marathon the following day. That afternoon, Katherine and i met up and took the bus to London and then went to Andreas' and Rob's, where Brittany and Todd were already settled in. Brittany and Todd went to bed pretty early since Britt was running the next day, but Katherine, Andreas, me, Rob, Gala, and Andreas' friend Ashwin all made dinner together and also made signs (Things like... "IDK about you, I'm feeling 26.2" and "Go Brit... see what we did there?", etc). It was such a fun night- full of lots of laughing and good food and enjoying the company of friends.
The next morning, we (me, Katherine, and Andreas) slept in, and woke up when Todd got back to Andreas' from dropping off Brittany. We all headed off to mile 8, which was our first planned stop to see her. I caught a glimpse of her running by, but it was super crowded and we didnt have the best spot. Still, we cheered and yelled and then quickly ran back towards the tube to get to mile 14 where we had planned to see her again. When we got there, we realized mile 18 (where the course kind of looped back, so really nearby) offered way better viewing, so we set up camp there first. We were early enough that we go great spots right on the rail of the course and had such a fun time cheering on runners. Finally, Brittany ran by, and she had passed her pacer guy, so she was running well ahead of her goal time. This time, she saw us and waved, still all smiles and looking great.
Somewhere near mile 18
From there, we hurried back towards the metro and on the way there met up with Kate and Dan. Kate and Dan, the couple I lived with in Seattle, had come on a Eurotrip and had planned to meet up with us in London and then come to see Oxford a few days later. It was great to see them, and we all hurried off and managed to get a great spot around mile 25. We also met up with Rob here, so we had quite a crowd cheering when we saw Brit run past there. From there, we headed to the finish area to meet up with her. She was a shivering, sore sight, but she also ran the marathon in 3h and 27m, which was a PR and also qualified her for the Boston Marathon... so proud to have such a talented, athletic, and hard working roommate. After that, we all headed to a late lunch at a pub to celebrate, and then back to Andreas' to pick up our things and so that Brit could shower and change, and then me, Katherine, Todd and Brittany headed back to Oxford.
The next day was a work day, and then Tuesday was a work and cleaning day since Kate and Dan were arriving later that evening and the house had gotten a little out of control. By the time they arrived the house was about as clean as it's ever been and I'd also gotten some good work done. After a few minutes of chatting, me, Brittany, Todd, Dan and Kate all headed down to the Victoria Arms for dinner and drinks. We stayed there until pretty late, and by the time I got home I was ready to crash.
The next morning I got up and headed back to london to meet up with my friend Aaron for lunch. We ate at this great little Lebanese place, and although the weather was disgusting (cold and rainy), the mint tea and food were fantastic and it was good to hear about his life in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and just catch up a bit. After lunch, I rushed back to Oxford to try to get some work done, which went okay, but not particularly productive. Kate and Dan had spent the day driving the Cotswolds, so that evening I had planned to go to dinner with them along with Brittany and Todd, but I really needed to push through the section I was writing, so I stayed home instead.
The next day, Brittany and I showed Kate and Dan Oxford. We met up with them on Cornmarket Street, and took them to Christ Church (the college and the cathedral) and then walked through Christ Church meadow. From there, we took them to G&Ds for ice cream and then a little ways down Cowley before taking the to see Magdalen College, including some of the grounds and the deer park. From there it was to the exam schools, Balliol, the Bridge of Sighs, the Bodleian, the Rad Cam, and the Sheldonian. We also stopped in Blackwell's as well, and then headed to the Old Parsonage, which is my favorite place in Oxford to get high tea. We had tea and scones (with clotted cream and strawberry jam of course) and then Brittany had to nanny, and Todd was still at home trying to finish his dissertation proposal, so I took Kate and Dan to a few of Oxford's more famous pubs: The Eagle and Child (where Tolkien and C.S. Lewis and the other Inklings used to "think and drink"), then to the Turf Tavern (where Bill Clinton did NOT inhale while he was a Rhode's Scholar) and then to the Bear Inn, which dates back to 1242 and is the oldest pub in Oxford. There, Brittany met back up with Kate and Dan and they all headed off to meet Todd for dinner while I headed home to skype with Mom and Dad.
Christ Church Meadow
I think I took this in Magdalen College
Balliol is beautiful!
Lucy had been acting oddly for a few days and had been to the local vet's office to have blood drawn that morning and I wanted to be caught up on everything. After talking to Mom and Dad, I agreed that Lucy sounded sick... but I also thought it was fixable. After all, Lucy had had surgery last October and had a full, very thorough physical then, and then in January and February she participated in an arthritis study at UGA that involved a full physical every 10 days. She looked great for a dog her age, and until a few days before, had been rolling in mint, hunting wood bees, and insisting Dad play endless amounts of frisbee with her.
I'd planned to get up early the next morning (Friday, May 1) to go the the May Day celebrations in Oxford, but the more emails I got about Lucy's rapidly declining health, the more I knew I would stay home and wait for news. Friday morning, after thinking they may have lost her several times throughout the night, Mom and Dad rushed Lucy back to the vet's office. She was put on fluids and a rush was put on the blood work that they were still awaiting. After her blood work came back largely normal, a decision was made to send her to UGA for further diagnostic work that evening. The work up (done some that evening/overnight/the morning of May 2) showed large masses on Lucy's spleen. They tried a transfusion, but Lucy continued to decline even during the transfusion, which was a sign to all of us that it was time to let her go. Although our equine vet was willing to come do it at the house, he gave some very sound advice, and Mom and Dad decided to go ahead and let her go at UGA- though they brought her mint and her frisbee and loved on her. She died just from the sedative. She was ready to go.
It's been nearly 4 weeks since that day, and yet I'm crying having to write that. Lucy was, for lack of a better term, and to stick with what I always said, a brat. She was also the smartest dog I've ever met. Her vocabulary and ability to tune into human conversation was astounding. She might have been possessive and poorly socialized, but she would do anything for our family, and as silly as it sounds, she really was my little sister, which is why I can write these things about her but no one else should speak ill of her. From Penn to Houston to Praha to Oxford, I've known that while Dad travels, Mom has a friend at home, and I've known that Dad has a dog that insists on lots of play time, keeping him young and moving (even when he probably should be resting his knee). Like so many dogs, Lucy's joy was infectious. She loved rolling in herbs and hunting wood bees, playing with tennis balls and her frisbee(s). She was a creature of habit, a dog of routine... and like a little kid, when she got mad at us she would run away... to the neighbors. She gave me kisses (not licking me, which I'm not a fan of) attempting to pucker her lips and push her face at mine. She knew "sit" and "down" but also more fun commands like "get low" (think downward dog, play stance), "stretch", "talk" and "inside voice," not to mention the all important "check your bowl".
I'm crying writing this not because I'm sad for Lucy... she lived a life most dogs would be lucky to have, she went out quickly, and I think with as little pain as most dogs can hope for, and while I don't proclaim to know what comes next, if there is a heaven, I am certain that dogs go there. But I am crying because never again will I get waken up by a Lucy alarm clock, or greeted with pure joy and excitement by a little pointer dog when I arrive home from my travels. And yet, this is the bargain we make when we get a dog, that we will get all of the joy from them, and also have to face a seemingly insurmountable amount of grief. As anyone who has ever truly loved a dog will tell you, it is worth it.
Love this little pointer
Post a good, solid mint rolling session
After her frisbee
After losing Lucy, I spent several days really, truly grieving. Sunday I went to the farmer's market and bought a peppermint plant (Lucy's favorite to roll in) to get started and to eventually plant in the yard. Mom and Dad celebrated their 30th anniversary, a wonderful example of love and commitment and support for one another even while grieving. I had friends checking in on me, but I mostly buried myself in my room and worked for that week. I did not want to see people or socialize... I mostly wanted to write my dissertation and be alone with my thoughts.
Still, that Thursday night I decided I wanted to go to Rob and Andreas' election party. Ben was going too so we met up at the train station and headed to London together. There was supposed to be a theme to dress as your all time favorite political figure, so Ben and Andreas were Socrates and Aristotle and I, obviously, went as Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Unfortunately, most people weren't participating, so we snapped a few pictures and then ditched our costumes. The night was fun, with lots of dancing and chatting with people, but it was also a bit sad. Much like I was disappointed in the last set of U.S. elections, I was disappointed in these, and the people I was with, who actually live and work here were even more invested and thus even more disappointed. It's always sad for me to see regression, and I was particularly disappointed in the number of votes and amount of support that UKIP received, though I also hated to see the conservatives win an outright majority.
RBG
The rest of that week, I continued to throw myself into my work, but this time, I made time for friends, including getting drinks at Freud's followed by dinner at Manos with my friend Alex and catching up on life. That Friday was the Pembroke Ball. I started the day by getting fake eyelashes (which was actually a really fun decision!) and Brittany did my hair.
Eyelashes and hair from the front
Hair from the back!
I spent most of the rest of the day working/writing and cleaning since we were hosting a pregame. It was a really fun group that came for the pre-game. Of course, me, Brittany, Todd, Fran (who was still living with us), and Merry (who returned from her internship in Geneva and reclaimed her room for the weekend!), but also Katherine, Lizzie, Cody, Alex, Anna, Jocelyn (a friend of Brittany and Todd who was visiting from Seattle), Tom, and two friends of Tom: Henry and David. After hanging out and taking pictures and such, we called cabs and all headed to the ball.
I'd arranged for Cato to take an extra ticket I had, and it was a surprise for most people, but especially Katherine. We had arrived not long before and were in line to get food when Cato popped up beside Katherine... who promptly burst into tears. It was a really nice moment, and one I wish I had on film... Katherine was truly speechless and simply cried in excitement. We ate indian food (the theme of the ball was Indian Summer) which was surprisingly good considering it was a buffet and the number of people they were serving, and then we headed to get drinks and dance. Only, it was cold. And the tent had open sides. I was cold, and not feeling all that great (I've been fighting with my gallbladder again and was on the losing end of that battle for awhile) and generally just was not having the best time. Eventually, we found an enclosed tent with more familiar music (I hesitate to say better) and I started having some fun. I had forgotten how much I love to dance, even if I am terrible at it, so that made for a fun night.
Me, Katherine, Anna and Brittany- being photobombed by Lizzie and Cody
I'm not the only one who loves to dance...
Cato and I were SO happy to surprise Katherine!
Lizze, Cody, Me, Tom and Anna
Me, Cody, Lizzie, Fran and Tom
Brittany, Katherine, Cato, Anna, me, Alex, and Merry
Towards the end of the night they closed the warm tent and sent us back to the open air one... the music was awful and it was freezing. After trying to get the DJs attention (and failing), Tom and I decided to join Katherine, Alex, Cato, and Anna in leaving... though we changed our mind and made one last (failed) attempt to salvage the night and stay for the survivors breakfast, but the music just wasnt danceable so we left around 3AM. When I got home, Brittany, Todd and Jocelyn were still up (they'd left maybe 45 minutes before) and were playing cards against humanity. I of course joined and we stayed up until nearly 4:30AM playing.
The next day was Uncle Curtis' memorial, which I was really torn to not be at. I spent the day meditating, listening to good music, reflecting, and I stopped by the friend's meeting house in Oxford for reflection time, only to find an art show and people there instead. Uncle Curtis would have absolutely approved. From there, I headed to Katherine's for a potluck/dinner party, but I was not in the mood to meet new people, so Cato and I snuggled on the love seat and caught up with one another until Brittany and Todd and I all headed home.
The next day I was supposed to meet up with David Aron (a friend from Penn) in London, but when that fell through, I went to listen to Ben and James' band (Infamous Flapjack Affair) at Worcester College and then to Katherine's house with Katherine, her roommate Sophie (who is lovely), Brittany and Todd to make dinner and play Settlers of Catan. Brittany and I had both indulged too much at the ball (not in alcohol, I mean in foods that we were supposed to be steering clear of) and then Brittany had really indulged the next night. We figured we were both already sick so we might as well make SUnday night the "last hoorah" before going back to restrictive diets, which in reality, just meant that we cooked with onions and garlic and drank juice and I ate cookies. We also discovered that mixing red wine with apple and eldrflower juice results in a delicious concoction that we named "tasty tea." After one too many glasses each, Todd had the hilarious job of getting me and Brittany home. We sang for lots of it, I tried (unsuccessfully) to cycle with my legs crossed, and we generally were just ridiculous- wearing mismatched clothes and Brittany's pants pulled up to her chest because "it's cold and this way they will cover more." Todd has an embarrassing amount of this on film, but unfortunately missed the bit once home where Brittany and I decided to have a light saber fight with our bike lights. I know it all sounds silly, but it was the hardest I've laughed in a long, long time, and it was so nice to have a care free, fun evening.
Sorry, Brittany. But this night was too fun not to share any photo evidence of...
Last week it was back to writing and reading (story of my life these days), but Tuesday evening I went to a talk by a UGA alumna called "How to Clone a Mammoth". I wrote my last elective essay on de-extinction, and had cited some of this woman's work (Beth Shapiro) and really agree with most (but not all) of her framing and underlying philosophy on how we should and should not be using this type of technology. It was a great lecture, honestly one of the best I've been to in Oxford, not just because the subject matter was interesting, but because Beth Shapiro seems to have mastered the art of using a powerpoint effectively, communicating clearly, and incorporating humor, which was much appreciated. For those of you interested in that sort of thing, you can view her Ted talk here: http://press.princeton.edu/titles/10415.html
Oxford Museum of Natural History... where the talk was hosted (taken on my way home that night, after dinner and ice cream)
After the talk, I met up with Jessica Hunt (the scholarship coordinator at UGA) along with the group of freshman foundation fellows who always do maymester in Oxford. They had also been at the talk (Beth Shapiro was a fellow at UGA) and it was good to meet a new group of them. From there, a group of us (I think 9 of us) went to Chang Mai (a thai place) for dinner, and then to G&D's for ice cream afterwards. It was so nice to have a chance to chat with some of the freshman. I am always amazed now at how 17-19 year old kids are so intelligent, passionate, poised, and articulate. I am pretty sure that I was never that put together (and am still not). It was also nice to catch up with Jessica and hear about what various people are up to these days. I also have to say, that returning to UGA this fall has been made so much easier by UGA Honors. Despite me transferring away during my first stint as an undergrad, everyone has been so supportive and understanding of my reasoning and my desire to return and have done nothing but welcome me back with open arms. It's really made me feel welcome, especially in a decision that has been a bit a bit hard to swallow since I am returning to undergrad at age 26 and moving home to do so.
The rest of last week sped by and Friday night, me, Brittany, Todd, Fran, Fran's boyfriend Geoff, and James all came over to play cards against humanity and extreme pictionary (which is such a fun, clean, hilarious game). It was a really fun evening, and it's always nice to have a small group over to hang out and play games.
Saturday, Brittany and Todd left for Seattle and I won't see them until around June 9th (I leave for the Maldives a few hours before their flight lands back in London, and then when I come back they will be at a music festival). Fran also moved out Saturday evening, so it was starting out to be a lonely long week (Monday was a bank holiday here as well). On Sunday I read that there had been a triple murder the previous night and that the suspect was on the run in Oxford. There were helicopters everywhere and police, and University Parks, where the guy was a groundsman, was closed because they suspected he might be hiding out there. That's only about a mile from my house.
I'm a bit of a scaredy cat, and being alone in my huge 5 bedroom house with a murderer on the loose was not super appealing, but I also had a really bad headache that felt like a precursor to a migraine and really, really did not feel up to cycling, so Katherine came over to spend the night. We made homemade gnocchi and homemade tomato sauce and watched friends and just hung out- it was a much nicer evening than spending it alone and freaking out about every little noise.
Monday I did work, submitted another draft of my dissertation to Jamie, and then headed to Katherine's. I cooked for a potluck I had that evening and Katherine was having friends over for a movie night. The plan was for me to cycle back to Katherine's after my potlock since she lives in a gated apartment complex and that way I wouldnt need to cycle home alone in the dark to an empty house with a murderer on the loose.
The potluck was a birthday party for my friend Luke, who is one of this year's NSEPers, and I think it was a bit of a continued "exams are over!" party for the NSEPers of this year. It was really good to see them all, meet a few I hadnt met yet, and hear what they thought about exams and what they are planning to do research on. Oxford is full of interesting, enthusiastic and kind people, but I think NSEP is particularly special (I'm openly biased here) and it's always great to share in an experience with people. After lots of amazing food and cake and wine, I cycled back to Katherine's, caught the tail end of the movie and crashed. They found the murderer (dead) while I was at the potluck, so I was also way less freaked out while cycling to Katherine's in the dark.
I've been a bit sick all week, though I think it's allergies and taking allergy meds the past few days has really helped... it's also helped my "gallbladder" issues tremendously, to the extent that I've been able to eat whatever I want for the past few days, which makes me suspect I'm mildly allergic to something I'm eating and not realizing it... I can't find a common thread in my food log, so maybe it's coincidence, but I'm suspicious.
Yesterday I had a quiet day of writing, reading, working on my bike (just maintenance... tire pressure, oiling the chain, tightening up the bell which had stopped working, etc) and also gardening- I finally planned the mint plant (which has gotten HUGE), and also planted cilantro and tarragon. Today I had lunch with Luke, Cody and Ben, and then had a meeting with Jamie. As many of you know, I've been rather frustrated with how things have gone this year, but today's meeting was so useful. Jamie had written feedback, and more concrete suggestions (probably because I sent a jumbled but semi-coherent draft). The meeting was really constructive and productive, and while I am still dreading much of the work ahead, it was really, really refreshing to feel like we are on the same page.
Of course now the spring is slowly arriving in Oxford, I am getting ready to leave- I am spending tomorrow night with Andreas in London and then leaving super early Saturday morning for Brussels to see Andie (who is there for work). I'll spend Saturday and Sunday there, and head back to Oxford on Monday. Then Tuesday I leave for the Maldives. I am only staying there until Saturday, but I am pretty excited about sun and sand and snorkeling and reading (maybe even for pleasure!) and such.
I think that about sums everything up. I'll leave you with a few photos of Oxford in the spring:
Taken from my desk (my room upstairs).... they ride past several days a week and I'm always jealous
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